Why Am I Doing This?

It's a question that goes through my head at least once a day: Why am I doing this? It's probably just the insecurities and self-doubt of a introvert creeping in. But it can be asked on several different levels, a few of which are even practical. For instance, it's a very practical question to ask when it comes to self-publishing. Because as exciting as modern technology is, and as accessible as applications like the Kindle store, iBooks and PubIt are, it's still self-publishing if I as an author put my work on those sites without the backing of a publishing house. I have a couple of reasons for exploring this route. Hopefully they'll make sense.

The novel I am planning to sell electronically is called "Days of Reckoning." It's a thriller. If you picture the character Mack Bolan (from "The Executioner" series) as a hot female police officer, you've got a basic idea of who my main character is. "Days of Reckoning" and I have had a rocky relationship. For a few years, we didn't even speak to one another. But I still love this book of mine, and I think it's worth offering to the public. "Days" served as my thesis novel at Seton Hill University. Without it, I wouldn't have my MA, or be in a program working towards an MFA. One of my writing friends was aghast when I suggested I might try publishing it myself, suggesting that it deserved another chance at being sent to agents. In theory, I agree. I'd love it if this book were picked up by an agent and a publishing house. But I've already tried that route.

I realize I am violating a cardinal rule of writing: "If at first you don't succeed, suck it up and send it out again, dammit!" So everything I say here will probably sound like an excuse. But indulge me and hear me out, please. First, I have a practical problem. As I said, I've already sent "Days" out to several agents. The problem is, the list of agents queried is one document that I didn't have backed up, and was lost when my old computer was wiped out. I remember a few of the agents I've queried, but not all of them. So I don't want to revisit old ground. Second, I think this could be an instructive exercise. I've taught a writing class, and it sure would be nice the next time around if I could give a first-hand account of what the e-book world is like, from an author's standpoint. I'd love to try the same type of path that writers like JA Konrath and David Morrell are exploring. Third, while I have regained my love for my book, I also want to be able to move on. I have two other novels that I've written since I finished "Days," and I want to be able to give them the attention they deserve as I look to market them. And right now, both of them are slated to make the rounds with traditional agents and publishers.

So those are my reasons for testing the waters of ebooks with "Days of Reckoning." Why am I doing this? Honestly, because it's exciting, it will be a valuable learning experience, and because I think my book is worth it.